


The Worst Kind of Revenge

by snowkatze



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Insecurities, Love Confession, M/M, Pining Simon, angst then fluff, chapter 61 never happened and simon and baz are friends, or are they?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2017-06-17
Packaged: 2018-11-15 09:03:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11227713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowkatze/pseuds/snowkatze
Summary: Simon confesses his love to Baz. But how will he react?





	The Worst Kind of Revenge

Simon laid in his bed and thought about Baz. It was an ongoing problem. His every thought was about the vampire boy. He realized that he had been thinking about Baz for years, not just since he and Baz had become friends. Ever since Simon had stopped seeing Baz as a villain and evil and plotting he had realized that he actually liked him – a lot. It was creeping him out. And these feelings had been there for some time. Simon just hadn’t let himself realize it because Baz had been evil.  
Now, after the Mage was dead and the humdrum gone, they had come closer. Baz treated him really nice, he consoled him and they even hung out together sometimes. It was very confusing. The feelings were confusing. The friendship was confusing. Baz’ hair was confusing. His eyes. His hands. His – lips. Needless to say that these feelings were by high chance not mutual.  
There was only so much time left they had together. It was driving Simon crazy. In a few months, they would both graduate and never see each other again.  
Also, now that Simon was aware that he _had_ such feelings, it was very hard to hide them. Despite everything, there still was the tiniest chance that Baz had the same feelings. The chance was so small – after all, Baz had been hating him until a few weeks ago. And he was probably straight. But as he laid there and thought about losing Baz, he went through his possibilities. He could convince Baz to stay in touch with him after school. They could write each other once a week and after some time never again. He could try to become Baz best friend and have a flat with him, like he had planned to have with Penny. But he couldn’t endure that. That left him only one chance. He would go for it, no matter how small the chances were. What was the worst that could happen? Since they weren’t nemisis anymore, it was probably Baz beating him up and never talking to him again. Maybe Baz would laugh about him. Maybe he would sneer at him and go back to hating Simon.  
But for there was the faintest chance Baz would kiss him back, Simon would go for it. Even though he was probably destroying everything.

-

Baz had agreed to meet Simon at the library. Because Simon wanted to ‘talk to him’. Baz wasn’t exactly sure what that meant. Probably he wanted to tell him that they should end their starting friendship. Sighing Baz pushed open the glass door. He was late. This was a conversation he wished to avoid.  
Simon already sat at their usual table. They had been studying together there a few times. Baz sat down and waited for Simon to speak up. That didn’t happen. Instead, Simon stared at him and Baz shifted in his seat.  
‘What is it, Snow?’ Baz growled.  
'I…’ Simon started but then he looked around and realized he didn’t want to be in the company of people during their conversation. 'Could we please go outside?’  
They went into the woods. And Baz decided to speak.  
'Are we going to be friends when this conversation has ended?’  
'Probably not,’ Simon admitted quietly. 'But please listen to me before you jump to conclusions.’  
Baz nodded, though he felt terrible.  
'This really isn’t easy for me to say. Like, at all. I imagined how this conversation would go and tried to make some sort of speech to learn by heart, but I’d probably mess it up anyways. So… I… I started to realize that… I’m falling in love with you.’  
Everything inside Baz froze at these words. His mind was blank for a few seconds before he realized what the words meant.  
Simon leaned forward, very nervous at how Baz would react and then he kissed him. He pressed his lips against Baz’ tenderly and waited for him to kiss him back. What Baz didn’t do. He just stood there until his senses came back. Now he knew what he had to do.  
He pushed Simon of him and punshed him in the face.  
'I never would have thought you would actually do that!’ he screamed. He wanted to insult Simon but none of the insults coming to his mind seemed good enough.  
'I guess I deserve that,’ Simon coughed, his heart aching. _Don’t cry,_ he thought to himself. _Don’t let him see how much he hurts you. This is it. This is the end to our friendship. I was so bloody stupid. I shouldn’t have told him. I knew he would hate me for it.  
_ Baz felt sick. He wanted to throw up. Instead, he turned around and ran into the wavering woods.

-

When Baz came back into their room, Simon was still awake. It hurt much more to have the confirmation that Baz didn’t love him. Would everything be like it had been weeks ago? Or worse, would Baz never speak to him again? But when Baz sat down on his bed, he did speak.  
'How did you find out?’ he whispered, still paralyzed by the shock.  
'What?’ Simon asked.  
'This is so embarrassing,’ Baz said. 'I… I actually thought we could be friends, that… you liked me, at least a little. But I guess that was foolish of me.’  
'What?’ Simon repeated, feeling a little stupid.  
'I’m sorry I hit you. I probably deserved it for all the years I treated you so badly. But you have to admit that it was kind of a dick move – making me believe for a split second you were actually in love with me. I almost believed it. Was that your plan? To become… my boyfriend, just to break my heart, as revenge? I should have expected that you would use my feelings for you against me. I knew that you would realize it, once we were friends. That’s one of the reasons I pretended to hate you all the time. I’m glad that you know, though. It was so hard to keep pretending all the time.’  
'What?!’ Simon said again, this time he sounded shocked.  
'Come on, you didn’t really believe I’d buy into you telling me you were in love with me. If so, it’d be just wishful thinking. You did succeed in hurting me, though. Because now I’ll think about this kiss, like, forever. Are you happy?’  
Simon was too stunned to respond.  
'Well, I’ not mad at you. Kind of made up for everything I did, don’t you think? So, how did you find out that I’ve been in love with you this whole time?’  
'I didn’t,’ Simon whisperd.  
'Oh come on, Simon, this isn’t funny.’  
'I didn’t fool you,’ Simon said. 'I meant what I told you.’  
He stood up and went over to Baz.  
'Stop it,’ Baz managed to say.  
'You are wrong,’ Simon whispered. 'I do love you. So much.’  
'What if you’re just saying this because you want to go through with your plan to break my heart?’  
'I could never hurt you on purpose, Baz.’  
'Maybe you just say that because you do want to hurt me…’  
'And what if?’ Simon asked as he leant down to kiss Baz.  
'Then I’m going to enjoy it for as long as I can,’ Baz murmured roughly and the night swallowed their sins.

 

 


End file.
